I felt really odd at work today, sort of like I was sleep-walking or dreaming, or something equally disorienting. I kept sort of zoning out and jerking back to awareness to realize that I'd made a whole line of pepermint mochas without really paying attention. I felt dizzy and tired, and at one point everything sort of jerked to the side and I nearly passed out. Suffice it to say my manager sent me home after about six hours of this.

My mood was also sort of...wonky. Ish. I kept flashing through extreme moments of depression, and then into extreme moments of anger, to the point that I wanted to punch customers in the face. More than usual, I mean.

Anyway--there's this girl I work with who is, let's just say, one of the least intelligent people I have ever met. Not in a mean way, or anyting, she just isn't very smart. I mentioned that I'd just started watching a show, and she said, "Oh, I love that show. Dude, that bad guy totally kills--." And then she says the name of a character, thereby completely spoiling a big part of it for me. I got really pissed off and shouted at her, which was really immautre and stupid of me.

I apologized afterward, of course, but I got to thinking. Fiction--ie, things I'm currently reading/watching/playing--are a giant part of my life. To the point that I get really upset if someone ruins them for me. It's stupid, really, when I think about it, but it also makes me realize how much of my life I spend outside of my life and in someone else's. Someone who doesn't exist, really. As a writer I guess this happens a lot, but I'd just never really thought about it to so much extent before today.

Oh well, real life sucks, fake life is awesome. That's the way it is.

Ladies and Gentleman,

I have something beautiful.

If you are like me, and would prefer to drive railroad spikes through your head than read the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer, than you should check this out.

[link]

Just read some of the comments Twilight fans have left. I don't think I have ever encountered a more idiotic fandom.

So...has anyone noticed the upsurge of random, non-artistic, non-erotic porn on this site recently?

Don't get me wrong, I am all for porn. It's cool, but in it's own place. Like a porn site. There was a time on DeviantArt where you'd get banned for showing like a half a nipple, and now you go onto the Collections page and are promptly smacked in the face by some woman spreading her legs and revealing her vag to the world. Which is cool. Whatever.

I just think it's a little abnoxious of DA to allow random cunt shots all over the place and then delete one of my friend's (artistic) photos of himself in a rather erotic pose. With a sheet covering the so-called naughty bits. I guess it depends on whether the mod you get for the day is chauvinist, homobobic bastard.

Just sayin'.

So I just got back my linguistics midterm. I got an 89%, and I'm really upset. Which is ridiculous, because an 89% isn't bad. It's almost an A.
But what I'm wondering is what kind of society I'm living in that when I don't get an A on a test, I feel like jumping into traffic. What sort of things are people teaching their children?
I need to get an A in this class, because I already failed out of my precalculus. I had to drop it. I need to get A's in my other three classes, because I don't want to be a fuck up anymore. This is my second attempt at college. I'm waking up early, driving an hour and a fucking half to campus, studying my ass off, and working on afternoons and weekends. I need to do well in school. Prove that I'm good at something.

NO MORE EMO!!!!!!